As I enter another year, I continue to learn, grow, and give the world more of me. This year has been a whirlwind — the good kind though. I chose to be more of me even though I never really left — I just hid her.
If you are like me, you know that is like. When you shut your front door, the world is falling apart, yet when you open the door to go into the world, everything appears peachy as damn king. You don’t want people to see you as less than, I get it.
Well, I am here to tell you. YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE YOU. BE YOU. BE TRUE. LIVE YOUR LIFE.
And so, as I reflect on another year of love, happiness, transforming, heartache and being blessed to live another year…I want to share what I have learned over the past 38 fabulous years.
- If you want something, go get it. You don’t need permission.
- It’s OK to eat dessert while the kids are eating dinner. You make the rules.
- Friends will come and Friends will go. Treasure the ones who stay.
- Don’t take on other people’s opinions of you. Who cares what they think.
- Say No.
- Screw the guilt. It’s not real.
- You CAN be whatever you want. You CAN do whatever you want. Choose to.
- A changed mind is a powerful thing.
- Pay with cash….as much as possible. (This is actually from my mother)
- Teach your kids to be themselves.
- Have open conversations with your kids. They aren’t as dumb as you think. They know stuff, they just don’t know how to process what they know.
- Talk about sex (and openly). And don’t lie.
- Set expectations with men.
- If you have a child’s father who is not around, it’s OK. You are enough. Just remember, you are not a man…you are a woman. Stand in your space.
- Be honest with your kids. Our instinct is to protect. They can handle it better than you think. Trust the process.
- Value your family, create experiences
- Love yourself first.
- Bad credit is not the end of the world. It can be repaired.
- Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
- There is a difference between being lonely and being alone.
- Your dreams are real. You can achieve them. Believe in yourself.
- You know your kids better than anyone. They trust you. They respect you (even though sometimes we feel they do not). They are watching us, they are listening to us, they look up to us.
- Don’t let others tell you how to parent. Stand by your morals and values for your family. Own that.
- It is OK to cry in the closet. It will happen.
- You have the power to change the course of someone’s day. Be nice.
- Remember this phrase when people are being opinionated towards you, “Water off a duck’s back” and repeat as often as necessary (my fave line from RuPaul’s Drag Race)
- Someone else has it worse than you. Be grateful.
- You are a survivor.
- Loyalty is one of the most powerful values in the world. And sometimes, it hurts when others are not.
- Love is a beautiful thing. Allow love in.
- Learn how to stay within a spending plan. Crap comes up and can throw us into a sh*t storm. Stay calm.
- Seek out resources. Refer back to 19.
- Single motherhood is not all sunshine and rainbows. BUT. We can create our own damn sunshine and rainbows and sprinkle the world like a damn boss.
- Sometimes we have to decide — do we pay the light bill or do we buy the heels that make us feel good.
- You don’t always have the answer. And that is OK.
- You made the right decision when you made it because, at the time, you had the proper tools, resources, knowledge and experiences to help you make that decision. #NoRegrets
- Stay true to your morals, values, and beliefs. Trust me, you will no regret it.
- YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. JUST DECIDE.
From my fingertips to your eyes,