When I was younger I would journal everyday. I bought journals all the time and wrote my feelings out. My mother thought I was a little weird because I wanted journals instead of toys.
My father was physically and mentally abusive.
I would have welt marks, sometimes blisters, on my inner forearm. In the summer.
My self-esteem was always on the low.
I was sexually assaulted when I was in the 5th grade.
I attempted suicide several times at the age of 14 and 15.
My father disowned me the summer before my senior year. He told me I was a disgrace to the family. (BTW — I ran away from home the night before and my mother convinced me to come back home).
I was kicked out of my parents house the day after I graduated.
I became a single mother and I was alone.
I was in an abusive relationship. I stayed for a long time.
I suffered post-partum depression.
I was homeless.
And everyday. I wrote. I wrote my feelings down and poured them all out. I wrote about the prince on the white horse galloping to my bedroom. Lightly tapping and the carrying me off to the castle where I would be worry free and loved.
Over the past few weeks, I found myself writing more than normal. I just went with the flow and wrote.
Until yesterday.
I was writing for myself more than usual.
Why? Because I miss my mother.
On Friday, June 19th will mark the 10th anniversary my dear mother left this earth.
It sucks beyond measure.
I miss our talks. I miss her laugh. I miss her loudness. I miss her friendly bubbly personality. I miss her bluntness. I miss her hugs. I miss her knowing everyone wherever we went.
Love, no matter what you are going through. Write it out. It helps.
Every single word that travels from your heart to your mind all the way to your fingertips — heals you. They help you walk through a journey that you understand. Words have power.
No need to write a novel. Start with one sentence. Try one of these for starters:
Today, I want to feel __________.
On this day, I am grateful for __________.
I miss _________ and I am going to __________ because it makes me feel __________.
I am looking forward to __________.
Today is going to be awesome because __________.
I remember when ________ did _________ with me and it felt _________.
No one is telling you not to feel. Feel your feels. Shed your tears. Take a personal day.
It’s OK to be exactly where you are today.
Keep writing.
From my fingertips to your eyes