Back in 2016, I was raising money for a Single Mother in need during the holidays. The majority of the emails and notes I received were positive, however, I received three emails filled with unlove: “Why can’t single moms just get a job?”, “I can’t support someone who doesn’t work for a living and expects a handout.”, “You are pathetic. Single moms need to stop having babies.”
And, I am not going to lie, this really got my blood boiling. I was pacing the living room, I was saying things out loud that I never say, and I wanted to jump through the screen and well —– then, I called a friend and we discussed the boldness of what I am doing, the emotional state of the country, and, ultimately, the difference I am making. I calmed down and sat on the couch.
And then this article hit my inbox. It made my day and solidified my feelings.
I’m a Single Mother and I own that.
I’ve hidden my feelings and experience as a Single Mother. And I won’t anymore.
I don’t apologize for being a Single Mother. I am not a victim.
As a Single Mother – I have experienced being homeless, being without electricity, being without a dime in my bank account or money in my pocket. Pain. Heartache. Depression. Suicide attempts. Domestic violence. And much more.
And I have experienced – celebrating football victories, doing cartwheels for dance competitions, going on beach destinations with my kids, watching my son graduate high school and head off to college to play football, spent time in NYC while my daughter modeled and danced. And way too much more to list.
ALL. As a Single Mother.
My work. My life.
Is about Single Mothers.
I don’t expect everyone to share the same feelings or views with me. All I can do is share my world and my love – and do what feels good. Some people will say, “Sang, your work is amazing and you are helping so many Single Mothers!” and others will say, “I think Single Mothers shouldn’t make bad choices and have lots of kids.” and that’s OK with me. My work is not for everyone.
If you enjoy my movement for Single Mothers, I appreciate you, and keep reading. If you don’t enjoy my movement for Single Mothers — that’s perfectly OK. You can choose not to support my work. You can choose not to share my work. I will not be offended. I will not be heartbroken. I will still help the Single Mothers who desire to live the most ridiculously amazing life for themselves and with their kids – and you’re free to support – or not support – the things I do for the Single Mother community.
But I am not going to hide my work or my movement for Single Mothers, because if I start doing that – how will I help another Single Mother who may be on the verge of a breakthrough or another Single Mother who may be having those suicidal thoughts.
It is not possible for me to please everyone when I know there are at least 22 million Single Mothers in the United States who desire a community of resources to help them thrive as a Single Mother surrounded by a sisterhood of love and support. No matter what I say – no matter what I do – someone, somewhere – is going to be happy, and someone, somewhere, is going to be unhappy. That is just fact. That is just how the thing called life works my darling.
And it has taken me quite some time to reach this unapologetic behavior. And I have decided that – rather than trying to please everyone, I ask myself, “How many Single Mothers’ lives can I affect today in the most positive way?” and “How can provide Single Mothers’ information to thrive in life and be happy?”
This is my work. This is what I do. And this is what I will continue to do. To leave a legacy.
With love, glitter, and gratitude,