Let me share a story with you today.
I grew up in a Western style parenting household. My dad is Vietnamese and my mother was American. It was a constant battle of parenting styles but the western style always won. If you are not familiar with western parenting, read about it here.
(Note:: I was disowned by my father the summer before my senior year and my dad said that he was obligated to me by the state to “keep” me until I graduated from high school.)
Nothing I did was ever for my father and as much as my mother wanted to say GOOD JOB — WELL DONE — my father prevented her from being that supportive mom. You see, my mom supported me in a different way, she was at every home basketball game, every award banquet, and always secretly whispered to me, “You are great!”
BUT. My father still convinced my mother that I was not enough. Day in and day out — I wanted to prove my father wrong. THAT I WAS GOOD ENOUGH!
And so that carried over in to my adult life. I was never enough and I wanted to be at the top of everything, the best at everything, #1 not #2, and I wanted my praise (silently). And, everyday, there was his voice on repeat, “Sang, you will never be good enough!” What happened because of this? I made bad choices. I chose the wrong men. I allowed myself to be a doormat in life and in my professional life. I stayed in an abusive relationship because I believed that that was enough for me. I was in a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
Fast forward to today, I am more than good enough for whatever my heart desires. It took a long time for me to truly love myself and be comfortable in my own skin. I no longer seek permission from others to be who I am. I read self-help book after self-help book and then I attended an event that turned my life around.
I was able to look deep inside and find the “things” that I used as excuses for not being me. I was able to celebrate my daily wins. I was able to open my arms to receive love, gifts, and acceptance. I was able to state my ultimate desires in life and ask for what I wanted without apology.
And sweet darling, when you decide, instead, to live your desire, to feed it, to love it and stalk it – your life becomes an adventure like no other. This world is forever changed because of your presence. You stretch out in your bed at night, knowing you have given your all, played your hand well and you have shown up in who you are.
“You didn’t sign up for good enough in this lifetime, you signed up for fabulous & awesome.”
I wake up with a desire to love other single mothers who feel they are not enough and unlovable because they are being pulled in every direction and doing it alone. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!
This world wants to be changed by you. By your desires. Your voice. Your impact. Your legend. And your current suffering can be traded in, any time, for a life of living your dreams and desires.
I want you to taste your destiny.
I want you to live your dreams.
I want the earth to feel the impact of you, the way your foot presses itself beautifully and perfectly into the sand, forcing the sand away, making room for the imprint of you.
Being a Single Mother is not easy.
It’s hard work, actually.
It requires courage beyond courage and I commend you my darling.
With love and sparkles,
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