Today we kick off True Story Tuesdays –

These will be stories of my life as a single mother — a person who was abandoned — a person who was beaten — a person who felt she had nothing left — a person who has been homeless — a person who is a survivor– a person who screws up — a person who prevails — a person who defies the odds — a person who challenges the status quo — a person who serve others — a person who has doubts — a person who was shunned by her “so-called” friends — a person who will continue to cheer you on no matter what

These are my true stories to encourage and give you permission to share your stories.

I want to share with you — and so we begin.

True Story:: Why I Didn’t Touch My Baby for 3 Months

December 7, 2000

I arrived at the hospital to give birth to my second child.  I happen to be in the same room as I was when I delivered my first child. Cool and weird.

Because I love surprises and gift, this was a win-win for me.  I did not know the gender of my child nor did I want to as I feel a child is a gift from God and gifts are surprises.

Now what happened prior to this day is important and will be brief as I am not quite ready to divulge, but until then, bare with me.  Here is a snippet::

Abusive relationship — physically, verbally, mentally

I was placed in the hospital twice during my pregnancy. Once for non movement of baby for 2 days and when I was viciously knocked into the wall for standing up for myself.

Back to the birth of my baby.

After not too many hours of labor, 3 very intense pushes and a torn vayjayjay later, the dancer was born.

She had a head full of hair, black as can be with soft ringlets all throughout. She cried. Not a lot but she cried. That IS what babies do. And she wanted to be fed.

I did not boobie feed the first one — well I tried but it didn’t work out and besides that shit hurt — so I opted for the bottle and formula again.  Even though the nurses were like — you really should try to boobie feed, it is so much healthier for the baby.  Hello lady, I am 22, single mother, with my second child — I ain’t got time for that.  Bottle and formula please. K. Thanks.

Note:: The time AT the hospital is a blur.  I can not tell you what happened because I do not remember and it was not until years later until I remember what I am sharing with you now.

Two days later, it was time to go home.  I drove myself home from the hospital.  Why? My daughter’s other parent was in jail was just got out, I really do not remember.

One of my very close friends, Lady T, was with me but she could not drive a manual.  When the nurse was checking the car seat for safety, Lady T got behind the wheel.  Once the nurse left, she and I switched places so I could drive.

When we arrived home. I was bitter.  I was angry.  I was sulky.  I was quiet.  I went into a shell.

I did not touch my baby.

I did not feed my baby.

I did not change my baby’s diaper.

I did not want to be in the same room with my baby.

I disliked her. Alot.

This went on for 3 months. Three very long, drawn out months.

Disclaimer:  Before you go getting all fiesty with me about what if she finds out and all that hoopla. I beat you to the punch.  She knows the story.  She embraces the story.

One day, everyone had finals or something and Lady T said, “Sang, you need to watch the dancer because I have class.”

I was a deer in headlights. Stiff. Stopped in my tracks.

Note:: Lady T, me, my son and “the biological father” all lived under one roof

Me::  “You want me to do what?”

Lady T::  “You need to watch the dancer, I have class and YOU are the only one here”

Me::  “Can’t you take her with you?

Lady T:: “No. You will be fine. Just feed her when she cries and remember to change her diaper and I will be back in a few hours

Me:: A few hours? ummmm. ok.

And she swished right out the door.

Note::  I had no clue where my son was because this is sometimes a blur to recall even to this day.  I do not remember taking care of him either — which relates to me is that I probably did not.

And there my baby sat on the powder blue velvety looking couch in her yellow matching outfit with a duck on the left chest. Just sitting there.

I was sitting on the floor, legs criss-crossed. Just looking at her.  Not sure I was thinking about anything.

I continued to stare at her. She did not look at me. She just kept cooing at the air and looking around as if there were mini tinkerbell fairies floating in the air talking to her.

This went on for what seemed like an hour, but I am sure it was more like 10 minutes.

Then it happened.

We locked eyes. I cocked my head sideways, gave her the side eye and looked at her as if she were plotting on me or something.

She stared. I stared.

During this intense stare down. She smiled.

I was still suspicious.  So I inched closer to her.

Stared her down some more. Her eyes never leaving me. She smiled again.

Without another thought. I picked up my baby. I smelled her. I kissed her. I hugged her.

And ever since then, she has been by my side. My Beautiful Dancer.

Moral of the story::

Postpartum Depression(PPD) IS REAL.  It happens and people judge.

Everyone remembers the Andrea Yates story and everyone was quick to judge as to HOW a woman could do that to her kids.

I understand her. I get it.

I was never at a point where I wanted to hurt my kids, but my mind was jacked up. Afterwards, I was more freaked out about everything because I did not what I was going through.  I am grateful that I was able to come out of that dark place that kept me from experiencing my dancer in her first three months.

You may not realize you are in this state of mind and I encourage anyone who is around you to take notes, be mindful of what is going on because our minds are more powerful than we like to give them credit.

Your turn::

Ever had PPD or know someone who has? How did you/they handle it? What advice do you have for others who have experienced PPD or are going through PPD?  ’

Share your story or  a story someone you know who has suffered from postpartum depression.

I have a confession.

I gave up.

I quit on you.

It was my birthday and I had a call with a coach I REALLY wanted to work with.  I liked her style.  I was excited. I was ready to be jacked out of my mind and create a movement for sassy, single mothers.

About 15 minutes into my call with her, she said, “Single mothers do not have any money or ambition.  You are never going to be successful.”

Ummmmm. Ok.

Wait. There is more.

As I sat there. I was frozen. My thoughts were ice.

And then because I did not have a credit card to “afford” her program, she said, “Call me when you have a credit card AND then we can talk.”

And that was it. Dream over.

I believed her. I went back under my blanket, curled up like a baby and BELIEVED HER!  I mean, I was a single mother and I allowed her to control my thoughts!  I let you all down.

OK. I GET IT.  I understand the sales process. I know you must “qualify” individuals and identify what obstacles or challenges are holding them back.  BUT.  To tell a person they are not going to be successful AND to stereotype my single mothers like that IS NOT okay. At. All.

SO LET ME THANK YOU.

To the coach who told me single mothers were broke with no ambition — THANK YOU.

To the coach who told me I was not going to be successful — THANK YOU.

To the coach who told me I needed a credit card to grow my business – THANK YOU.

LET ME GIVE YOU SOME “ADVICE” THERE, COACH

When someone reaches out to you for help, you see them at their lowest, you see their challenges, they’re looking for a safe place seeking a no judgement zone to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Be mindful of the words you share.  Possibly you were just looking for a sale, which you were, and you just looked at me like a number and a dollar sign in your ledger. Your words were daggers.

Please, please don’t ever do that to anyone else.  Ever.

I cried. I cried a lot after that phone call. I was devastated.  I reached out to you because I respected you and wanted to learn from you.  I did my research about you, the raving reviews, and all the women’s lives you had changed. I was ready to do what it took to be coached by you.

For days, weeks, months — I felt like a complete failure.  I didn’t know what to do except give up.  And I almost did.

I was scared to talk to anyone about my dreams because I thought they would laugh at me.

I even talked to a few friends and instantly went back undercover because they judged me and patted my back as if I were 3 years old and needed coddling.

Should one person’s opinion have mattered to me THAT much? No.

I let my fellow single mothers down. And I am sorry.

Years later, I may not be what YOU consider a success. You were wrong. You were wrong about single mothers.  Single mothers KICK ASS everyday!  I have a business that I love! I have a business that helps single mothers and does not crush their dreams like fallen M&M’s on a sidewalk.  I LOVE my clients and the lives I change everyday.

Oh.

And one more thing.

I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK ANYMORE!

To all my single mothers — click here to take the survey + witness cartwheels!

I am going to be honest! I am sick and tired of looking for resources for single mothers or people look at me like I have the plague — so here I am! Putting an end to the madness that pisses me off and makes me go ballistic like a velociraptor.

I am putting together a FLIPPIN kick-ass FREE resource JUST FOR YOU, the single mom! I am not here to give advice about who to date or when to introduce your kids to whomever or any advice really! I am here to teach you, motivate you, and embrace you as you are while being your personal cheerleader in your corner who does not judge you! THIS IS A NO JUDGEMENT ZONE!

Here is a survey to get to know YOU, what YOU want, what YOU desire, what makes YOU….well YOU!  After all, it is about YOU, the world just does not know it…yet!

It’s Spring, and there’s lots to celebrate!

While it may look like THIS here

Photo by Lori Maris

It is STILL SPRING DARN IT!

Now. For some news…

Sangtastik is getting a……Make-Over

and I bought some new heels to celebrate!

That is right, hold on to your panties!  It is about to get FIERCER in here! And yes, that is a word — in my Sangtionary!

If you have any suggestions on what you want to see — or even what you do not want to see — let’s hear it! Leave it in the comments!

Among all the FABULOUS changes around here — I am cooking (wait, cooking is not my forte) — cough cough — I am devising an perfect amazing and free resource JUST FOR YOU!

That is right! I am gifting you Spring gifts!

BUT.

In order to do that, I need to know exactly HOW I can help you, because as you know we can all be a little shy about our issues.

What problems do you need solved? Where are you struggling? What challenges are you facing? What keeps you up late at night? What frustrates you to the point where you want to poke someone with a fork?

With that, I invite urge you to take THE SURVEY.  If you’re looking for a good reason why you should give me two minutes of your time, it’s because:

1) Based on your responses, I’m going to create an amazing and free resource to address your problems that will both make you smile and produce a series of “Ah ha!” moments, guaranteed. It is SPRING, remember! There is lots to celebrate!

2) If you don’t respond, then your issues might not get addressed. Do not get mad at me!

I’d be honored if you’d take a second to help me help you, so we can all shake our money makers together and party like a rockstar. Many thanks in advance for your extremely valuable time and input, and a Happy Spring to you, as well!  Let’s kick ass in 2013!

CLICK HERE TO MAKE ME DO CARTWHEELS + TAKE THE SURVEY.

P.S — To my Locals in the Kansas City area (don’t worry out of towners — I am coming to a city near you) — Save the Date — APRIL 27th, 2013 in Overland Park, KS!

From my fingertips to your eyes

You woke up this morning? Didn’t you?

The world needs you to stop being boring and lame!

You are breathing air, aren’t you?

You heart is beating, right?

You were meant to travel down that road less traveled.

So. Go. Get On it.

Keep going.

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

What would have happened if Walt Disney had quit?

We wouldn’t have a “Happy Working Song”

And we wouldn’t know about Nemo or Woody or the Wicked Witch! Now would we?

What is your Happy Song?

Turn in on, Turn it up!

Dance.

Dance in your room like no one is watching!

Dance naked.

Drop it like it’s hot.

Be free! Let Loose!

Let It All Out!

THAT.

That is the feeling you want to feel all day everyday!

FEEL IT THEN!

You do not need permission from me to FEEL flippin fabulous!

Nike was right — JUST DO IT!

Don’t just wear the damn words — BE the damn words!

Now get out there and take on today LIKE A BOSS!

From my fingertips to your eyes

A Love Note to Entrepreneurs

Do Your Best Work

Touch ONE Person

Make a Difference To a Handful

Build a Legacy — Not Just an Empire

Keep Your Values Front and Center

See The World As It Isn’t

Make Your Passion Your Master

Allow Possibility to Feed Your Soul

Author:: Striking Truths

Meanwhile in Kansas City #KCSNOW ::

I came across THIS::

“The only thing that is distinctly different about me is that I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things that can happen: Either you’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple. So let’s go back to what I do when people reject me: I’m either going to get back in, or I’m going to die. The majority of people who aren’t getting the things they want, or aren’t achieving the things they want, is strictly based on hustle. It’s strictly based on being outworked, on missing crucial opportunities. If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.”

- Will Smith

….while I was being smothered in this white powder that surrounds me and absolutely NO Vitamin D. At. All. Whatsoever.

What happens?

I GETS REAL!

YOU have no excuses!

STOP feeling sorry for yourself.  SNAP out of it.

YOUR competitor is out hustling you. Out working you. Out thinking you.

While YOU are sitting on the couch clickin’ channels and scratching your cat’s belly — YOUR competitor is creating content.

YOU hold the power to change your future (and it is not in the remote control).

Do you FEEL like you need a little hand holding first? It’s ok. I felt that way and still do at times. It happens. IT’s OK!

Here is a 5 step process to help you get started::

1. BE YOU. BE AUTHENTIC. Simple as that.
2. Just Say No.  If it is not getting YOU to where you want to be — then do not do it. Easy Peasy.
3. Read. Learners are Earners and to be quite frank, if you are not learning, you are dead. You don’t want to be dead.
4. Engage to find clarity and stop thinking so much. “Thinking” makes everything more convoluted — ENGAGE.
5. If all else, bake. Yep. Bake some cupcakes, bake some cookies, bake a cake, bake a pie — the trick — DO NOT EAT IT! Go workout instead! You will thank me later!

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one

alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss

In the meantime — I am sending you all warm thoughts::

From my fingertips to your eyes

Oprah.

Oprah is powerful.

Oprah is spiritual.

Oprah changes lives.

Oprah exudes perseverance.

Oprah make mo’ money in a minute than most make in a week.

Oprah knows her business.

Oprah is the epitome of what many strive to become.

Oprah knows ninja.  HAHA!

Oprah expresses how much energy is the essence of life and how critical it is to your life to maintain a positive level each and every single moment.  Every thing you encounter in life has a purpose. It has a meaning.  YOU create the moment through you positive energy and mindset.

As Marie Forleo stated:

She’s so committed to igniting meaningful conversations and helping us come together to find greater clarity, direction and purpose – that she started an entire NETWORK to do it.

And if you’ve paid attention, you know not everyone has supported her.  

In fact, over the past 18 months, so many people in the media have tried to tear her down. They’ve told her she can’t do this. 

As entrepreneurs, dreamers and seekers who are working to create a better world – we know how important it is to have people support us and believe in our dreams.

Now — Marie Forleo has been one of the most inspirational women I have come across.  Now she will be sitting right the very stage with THE Oprah! GO MARIE!  Not only am I excited, but I am excited about what I am going to learn.

So here is the deal — go ahead, set your TV timer reminders — set you DVRs — to tune in THIS Sunday, November 18 for a “Super Soul Sunday” first. Oprah Winfrey is sitting down with three up-and-coming thought leaders from the next generation of spiritual thinkers: Marie Forleo, Mastin Kipp and Gabrielle Bernstein.

Watch it at 11 a.m. ET/PT on OWN, or log on for our worldwide simulcast on Oprah.com and Facebook.com/SuperSoulSunday.

Now here is what is needed from you — you didn’t think you were going to get away without a task did you?

1. Share this video with your posse and friends you love and even those you don’t really want to — just do it.  It may change their lives — http://bit.ly/SSSMarie
2. Please do what Oprah instructs in her 5 easy peasy steps
3. HAVE FUN!

I know where I will be on Sunday!  All cozzied up on my couch — with a notebook in hand — and a nice cup o’hot chocolate or maybe a few mimosa’s. After all it will be brunch time!

From my fingertips to your eyes

More from Sang

What the EFF is a Backstory and WHY do I need one?
Make Cash While You Sleep + Get Paid to Goof off = Winning
Skip these crappy tips

I am going on a diet and I am going to do The Master Cleanse at the same damn time (what was I thinking).  Don’t worry, one is for a year and the other is for about 5 days.  Either way, it is a challenge that will make me or break me. I chose to be made.

What on earth is going with you Sang? Have you gone mad?

Yes. As the saying goes, Go Big or Go Home, right?  There are a few things going on here at Sangtastik, we are among some major updates for 2013.  Why not go big in November 2012.  More to come.

While you wait…..we are going on a diet and a cleanse.

A book diet.  Courtesy of Chris Brogan – The Three Book Diet

I will admit that I am a book junkie.  I buy books. I read them. I move on. Then sometimes I re-read them.  Some collect dust, some get used like my toothbrush.  I have learned that when you re-read a book, you find information that you were not seeking the first time around.  Your mind is good at playing tricks on you like that.

Damn mind control.

Here is a secret — DO NOT tell Chris Brogan, I am a rebel and I am doing the 4 Book Diet. Shhhhh!

1. The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms

2. The Zigzag Principle: The Goal Setting Strategy that will Revolutionize Your Business and Your Life

3. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

4. Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World

**All of these links are amazon affiliate links**

I have a feeling I will learn more in the next 365 than I did in the 18 months I spent on my MBA in 2008 and the $50K in debt I incurred.

May the readings commence.

DAY ONE of The Master Cleanse

What is The Master Cleanse you ask.

Lemons. Water. Pure Maple Syrup. Cayenne Pepper. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I am not going to lie. This is going to suck and I am going to share what happens to me mentally, physically, and emotionally. Prepare yourself for some clear cut, in your face, reality of what is about to transpire.

What have I learned on DAY ONE.

FOOD.  I take food for granted.  Let’s face it.  Until we are forced to take inventory of our lives, we take each moment for granted.  Time meant nothing to me until my mother died when I was 26. Money and business did not mean anything to me until I became homeless. Tradition meant nothing to me until I realized my family consisted of about 5 people.

MIND CONTROL. Who knew that my mind was so controlling.  I am not physically hungry, yet my brain keeps telling me that I want food.  And I have been browsing Pinterest looking for new recipes to try once I eat food again. Everything looks so damn good.

Your mind is a powerful muscle and we train it to believe what we want and it controls our thinking.  This cleansing is going to be fierce and mind blowing.

Share your story with me.

1. Could you choose 3 (maybe 4) books to read for an year and spend that year implementing what you have read? What books would you choose?

2. Have you ever done The Master Cleanse or anything that has challenged you so intensely?  What did you learn?

From my fingertips to your eyes

Let’s Walk. Let’s Talk. Let’ Share. Imagine with me.

Follow this journey.

IMAGINE.

Imagine being born

Imagine living a life of freedom

Imagine being a negative standout within the community

Imagine being abused by your own father

Imagine people being hateful because you are different

Imagine being kicked out the day after you graduate high school

Imagine being disowned by your own family

Imagine being all alone

Imagine verbally abused

Imagine being alone again

Imagine being homeless

Imagine fighting back

Imagine being free to roam where you want

Imagine your mother dying so suddenly and no answers

Imagine being surrounded by loneliness

Imagine being a slave to work

Imagine the feeling of looking out the window yearning for more

Imagine being overlooked for promotions

Imagine being pissed off

Imagine stepping out of your comfort zone

Imagine finding true love

Imagine making your own love story come true

Imagine being stabbed in the back by those you thought were on your side

Imagine sitting in a room, no light, just your thoughts

Imagine being pushed to your limits

Imagine finding your spirit

Imagine discovering your true calling

Imagine feeling on top of the world

Imagine being given an ultimatum

Imagine how it feel to be beautiful inside and out

Imagine helping others smile

Just IMAGINE!

Imagine. Imagine what your life looks like when you take the leap.